Billie Eilish- wish you were gay 가사/해석

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaJx0Gj_LCY

Baby, I don't feel so good
Six words you never understood
I'll never let you go
Five words you never say (Aww)
I laugh alone like nothing's wrong
Four days has never felt so long
If three's a crowd and two was us
One slipped away (Hahahahahahahaha)

 

내 기분이 별로 좋지 않아 
이 여섯단어를 넌 전혀 이해하지 못했지
난 절대 널 놓지 않을 거야
이 다섯 단어를 넌 절대 말하지 않아 
난 아무 문제없다는 듯 혼자 웃어
나흘이 이렇게 길게 느껴졌던 적은 없었어
3명이 군중이고 둘이 우리라면
다른 한 명은 슬쩍 빠지겠지   (one의 대상은 빌리가 좋아하는 그 남자)

 

I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay

 

나는 단지 너의 기분을 좋게 해주고 싶은데
하지만 너는 항상 다른 쪽을 바라보고 있지
내가 얼마나 너를 떠나고 싶어 했는지 말을 할 수 없어
나는 네가 게이였으면 좋겠어

Is there a reason we're not through?
Is there a 12 step just for you?
Our conversations are in blue
11 "heys" (Hey, hey, hey, hey)
Ten fingers tearing out my hair
Nine times you never made it there
I ate alone at 7, you were six minutes away (Yay)

 

우리가 끝내지 못하는 이유가 있는 거야
너를 위한 12단계가 있는 거야?
우리의 대화는 파랗기만 해?
11번의 hey 
내 머리를 감싸는 10개의 손가락
9번이나 너는 그곳에 오지 않았어
난 7시에 혼자 먹었고 너는 6분이면 닿을 거리에 있었어

 

How am I supposed to make you feel okay
When all you do is walk the other way?
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay

 

네가 하는 것이라곤 다른 곳을 향해 걸어갈 뿐인데
내가 어떻게 너의 기분을 좋게 만들어 주겠어?
얼마나 너를 떠나고 싶었는지 너에게 말할 수 없어
나는 그저 네가 게이길 바랄 뿐이야

To spare my pride
To give your lack of interest an explanation
Don't say I'm not your type
Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation
I'm so selfish
But you make me feel helpless, yeah
And I can't stand another day
Stand another day

 

내 자존심을 살려주기 위해
나에 대한 관심 없음을 해명하기 위해서
'너는 내 타입이 아니야'라고 말하지 마
그냥 나는 동성애자라고 말해 ( 네가 선호하는 성적성향이 아니야)
내가 너무 이기적이지만 
너는 날 무력하게 만들어
나는 더 이상 하루도 견딜 수 없어
하루도 견딜 수 없어


I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay
I just kinda wish you were gay
I just kinda wish you were gay

 

나는 단지 너의 기분을 좋게 해주고 싶은데
하지만 너는 항상 다른 쪽을 바라보고 있지
내가 얼마나 너를 떠나고 싶어 했는지 말을 할 수 없어
나는 네가 게이이길 바랄 뿐이야
나는 네가 게이이길 바랄 뿐이야
나는 너가 게이이길 바랄 뿐이야
나는 너가 게이이길 바랄 뿐이야..

---

 이 곡은 빌리 아일리쉬가 어떤 남성에게 고백을 했지만 그 남자는 답이 없었다고 합니다.
그녀는 그를 원했지만 그는 그녀를 무시했고

그의 냉담에도 불구하고 그녀는 그를 더 원했고 
그에게 중독됐다는 사실과 그의 관심 부족이 그녀를 고통스럽게 했다고 하네요. 

 

그녀는 왜 그 남자가 그녀의 사랑에 응답하지 않는지에 대한 이유를 찾게 되었고
내면에서의 이유가 아닌 받아들일 수 있는 ' 그가 게이이기 때문에'라는 이유를 떠올리게 됩니다.

 

그가 그녀에서 매력을 못 느끼는 이유는 그의 성적 취향 때문이라는 것.

 

빌리는 거절한 남자가 게이여서 거절이 덜 고통스러웠길 바랬다고 하네요.

---

 이 곡에서 나오는 12 step 은 일반적으로 중독에 극복하기 위해 사용된다고 합니다.  
그러나 이 곡에서는 매우 좋아하는 남자(빌리가 중독된)에게 극복하기 위해서 사용했습니다.
첫 번째 verse에서 6~1단계가 나오고
세 번째 verse에서 12~7단계가 나옵니다.
연락해도 답장하지 않고 그의 무관심한 태도 때문에 빌리는 그 남자에게서 벗어나게 되는 내용입니다.. 

* Be through : 관계를 끝내다(to have finished using or doing something ; to have finished a relationship with somebody)
tear out: ~을 잡아 뜯다 벗기다
make it : (어떤 곳에 간신히) 시간 맞춰가다, (모임 등에 ) 가다, 참석하다
sexual orientation : 성적 성향, 동성애